MAKING SURE YOUR FINAL WISHES DON’T COME BACK TO HAUNT YOUR FAMILY
October is the season of ghosts, goblins, and things that go bump in the night. But you know what’s scarier than a haunted house? Leaving your loved ones completely in the dark about your final wishes. While estate planning documents—wills, trusts, and the like—are essential, they’re not the place to spell out whether you want a traditional burial, cremation, or a full-on costume party sendoff. Those papers usually aren’t read until a couple of weeks after you’ve passed away—long after decisions have been made and the black cat has crossed the road.
So, how do you ensure your wishes don’t vanish into thin air like a ghost at midnight? Here are two tried-and-true methods.
Option 1: Prearrange With A Funeral Director
Think of this as the “no tricks, just treats” approach. Sitting down with a funeral director allows you to spell out the details of your final sendoff—and I’m not just talking about picking between “Amazing Grace” or “Thriller.” You can cover everything from the big choices down to the tiniest details:
• Burial or cremation.
• Casket or urn selection—yes, there are catalogs.
• Service type—religious, non-religious, graveside, or a full celebration-of-life event.
• Location—church, funeral home, beach, park, or even your own backyard (permits may apply).
• Music and readings—want a solemn hymn, or is your heart set on Don’t Fear the Reaper? Now’s the time to lock it in.
• Flowers and décor—roses, lilies, or maybe pumpkins if you’re leaning into the season.
• Obituary details—yes, you can even draft your own headline to make sure it says “loving spouse and parent” rather than “avid coupon clipper.”
You can pay for these arrangements upfront (which locks in today’s prices and saves your loved ones a financial scare later) or simply leave payment for when the time comes. Either way, the real gift is that your family won’t be left scrambling in the fog, trying to guess what you would have wanted. They’ll have one simple instruction: “Call [insert funeral home name here] when something happens.”
Option 2: The DIY Word Document
If you’d rather skip the formal meeting, the DIY route works just as well. Create a Word document with your wishes, sign and date it, and place it somewhere obvious. (And by obvious, I don’t mean hidden in a dusty trunk next to your old Halloween costumes.) Make sure your family knows where it lives—otherwise, it might as well be buried in a crypt.
The beauty of this option is flexibility. As your ideas evolve—say you’ve traded the dream of a church service for a sunset beach bonfire—you can easily update the document. It may not be a legal document, but a signature and date add enough gravitas to reduce the risk of family members arguing like zombies fighting over the last brain.
Why Bother?
Because nothing spooks a family gathering quite like uncertainty. Without clear instructions, loved ones are left guessing and possibly disagreeing—“Would Mom have wanted this?” “Did Dad ever mention that?”—the kinds of conversations no one wants while mourning. By documenting your wishes, you’re giving your family the gift of clarity and comfort.
And remember, this isn’t about being morbid. It’s about being thoughtful. You’ve planned for college funds, retirement accounts, and maybe even next year’s Halloween costumes. Planning for the final chapter is simply one more way to show you care.
Final Thoughts
Whether you enlist a funeral director or draft your own “final wishes” document, the important part is leaving a roadmap. Don’t let your family be haunted by questions—or worse, forced to make decisions based on guesswork.
So this October, in the spirit of facing our fears, take a little time to put your wishes in writing. Your family will thank you for it. And who knows? By handling this now, you might just keep the peace in your family … and keep yourself from becoming the subject of future ghost stories. Your family will thank you. And if you’d like a sounding board, consider working with a Certified Financial Planner® who will help you to take a comprehensive approach and ensure that your final wishes do, in fact, fit with your overall financial plans.
